Life changes A LOT when your havin' fun!

Hello! The last time I wrote a post was on April 28th 2011. As I read back at that old post, I can't believe that it was less than a year ago. So much of my life has changed (i.e. improved/digressed). Everyone should read posts of theirs from a year ago. Highly therapeutic to see the changes that have been made since that time.

Things that have changed:
I... am now a senior in college (WHAT THE WHA???? Crazy how time flies by).
I.... am officially an unofficial aunt (friend that is basically a sister had a baby boy...i.e. cutest child to ever live).
I... received 3rd place in my first triathlon (I'm an addict now)!

Some dude I had to hug while getting my ribbon.

I...transferred from community college to big kid school (a 4 year school).
I...finished the Bible Study I was in and began to "Break Free".
Tim Tebow moved to my state so that he could be the Broncos QB and get married to me.

"Thank you for choosing me to play for the Broncos! Now I will get to meet and marry Deborah Rose!"- Tim Tebow (actual quote... or not.)

I... regained a friendship from childhood that I never thought would be rekindled.
I... went backpacking for the first time in my life and didn't get eaten by bears!

Probably one of the coolest things I've done.

I... really started to live my life with the goal of serving/honoring the Lord Jesus Christ.
I... started a new job that I LOVE with great people (including my big sis).
I... passed my Calculus class. PRAISE GOD!
I... bought these cowboy boots (a MAJOR life event :P):
I... started spending money on myself and giving more to charities/my church (God gave me my money.....its time to USE IT rather than lock it up like a money hog).
I... finally started skipping days working out. If I don't feel like working out....I skip it. So much happier.
I... stopped weighing myself. I have NO CLUE what I weigh. Really. Like no clue. And I don't care. Ha.
I...met/had dinner with/ talked for an hour with/ got a signed shirt/ listened to a concert with/by my favorite singer : Priscilla Ahn!

She was SO sweet....we are all practically BFF's with her now.

I... stopped going to my counselor. Don't know if this is a good thing or not yet.
I... have a lot more friends now. Church, work, school, etc. have all given me great friends and now I finally enjoy going out! Even people who I met through The Thorn (previous post) are some of my closest friends. Yay for new friends!
I... went on a week long trip to Oregon.

On the Oregon Coast. Twas gorgeous!

I...have conquered pretty much every fear food I have. I now drink milk every day. Eat oatmeal only a few times a week for breakfast. Eat bread/bagel/some grain every day. I eat eggs again without feeling guilty. Have cut back on stuffing my face with salads. Have cookies/cake/pie/ice cream whenever I get the chance.You get the idea.
I... hiked and then drove to the top of Pikes Peak for the first time.

I'm on top of the WORLD!!!

I... had my first manicure ever. WHY have I not done this before??!?!?! Heaven on earth.
I... have a tummy roll, love handles, cellulite, and skin under my chin. I'm learning to deal with it.
I... ran my first Dirty Girl Mud Run with wonderful sisters and friends.

We called ourselves the "Dirty Denver Divas" I.E. the "Triple D's"!

I... had a wonderful Christmas with LOTS of delicious food. Yeah I probably gained weight. Who cares.

Yeah. I don't kid around with little portions. That's a thing of the past. LOAD ME UP!

Well I could go on tooting my own horn and showing off all of the fun things I have done, but I'm bored so you probably are too. All the things that I have been able to conquer really have not been through my own strength. I have a lot of support. Most of it from my Savior. I have truly learned that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13)

One more thing: On that plate of food is something that I made for the Christmas party I was at in that picture. It turned out great! I made some modifications that I think enhanced it:

Bacon and Brussels Sprout Hash

Recipe courtesy Tyler Florence, 2008

Prep Time:

20 min

Inactive Prep Time:

--

Cook Time:

25 min

Level:

Easy

Serves:

4 to 6 servings

Ingredients

• Extra-virgin olive oil
• 4 slices thick-cut bacon
• 4 sprigs fresh thyme
• 2 pints Brussels sprouts, cut in 1/2 (I kept them whole)
• 1 pound fingerling potatoes, split down the middle (I used large potatoes that I just cut into cubes)
• 1/2 pound red pearl onions, peeled (I just sliced 1 red onion)
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth (I omitted this)
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves roughly chopped (I don't like parsley so I omitted this)
• Additions:
• 2 TBS. minced garlic
• 1 tsp. ground sage
• 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 tsp. chopped rosemary
• 
  
• Directions

Set a large saute pan over medium heat and add a 2 count of olive oil. Cut bacon into long strips and add to pan together with thyme. Cook for 5 to 7 minutes to render the fat then strain and set aside. Add Brussels sprouts

My Directions
Set a large saute pan over medium heat. Slice bacon into long strips and toss in pan until nice and crispy. Remove bacon and leave bacon drippings in pan. Fry up your chopped onions until they are translucent. Meanwhile, roast your sliced potatoes and whole Brussels sprouts in oven at 425 degrees until they are nice and crispy (toss them around ever 10 minutes). Add them into the onions with all of the seasonings and balsamic vinegar (no chicken stock). Fry up for about 5 minutes on medium heat. Serve in warm dish and sprinkle bacon on top as a garnish. Devour.


Well reading this post probably took up half of your day so I will stop! Thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of your day!

Recap on Life

So I don't really have many readers. Probably just the blogger snackgirlgoeshealthy.wordpress.com. But I want to just reflect on the last few weeks that I haven't posted about. Things have been good and bad. Right after I started taking my depression meds I felt awesome! For 2 weeks straight (ya you heard me) I was for the most part happy. I have not gone that long without feeling terribly sad in....years. It was great. I had more great times with Mary Ellen (counselor). She just keeps on showing me how much the Lord loves me and cares about my life. However, last week was utter crap. Seriously. Yuck. I felt fat, ugly, guilty, depressed, all the usual stuff that has taken over my life for the past few years. I don't know what reversed everything. It was like a flick of a switch. I was being irrational all over again and felt the terrible guilt again. 

Friday night (Christmas Eve) was not so fun. It started out with watching a fave Christmas movie of mine and ended with crying and a "discussion" with the whole family. We always have these "discussions" on holidays. Its wierd how it always works out that way. Anyways, it ended up being good to get some things out and work through some family issues. I woke up on Christmas and ate breakfast and such. We were supposed to have a big family breakfast but my parents were talking about the previous night (a good talk I hear) and we didn't end up eating until 1. We had a delicious breakfast/brunch/lunch of blueberry pancakes, bacon, steamed spinich, fried eggs, and grapefruit! Yum! 

We then opened our stockings (we opened big gifts with Dave and Rach present on Thursday). I got lots of goodies! 

---

I gave Sarah a cool mug that a friend from work made. Even though the gifts were great...it just didn't really feel like Christmas. And my week of blues was still continuing. However watching some Jim Gaffigan made me laugh and watching Inception made me LOVE Leo so much more! hahah! I ended up watching it again (twice actually) on sunday! Hahah! I love that movie! But I ate a lot of food. Really I did. And even though I felt guilty and bad about it....it really was nothing compared to how I used to feel after eating junk. Yesterday was pretty terrible though. I cried and cried and cried. No clue why. Okay maybe I do. I think it was a combo of a stinky Christmas, irrational thinking, ED thoughts, missing my bro and sis in law, feeling disconnected with my friends this holiday season, etc. However today is proving to be much better.

I actually just conquered something that ED has always caused problems with. I pretty much don't let anyone touch my food. Hahah! That sounds crazy....but really.......I make my breakfast and lunch everyday. Many times I make my own dinner. I don't like people touching my food. Why? Because they don't know the rules I have made for myself. However, today my mom offered to warm me up some soup she had made. My first instinct was to say..."No I will get it myself." But I decided, "No. I need to let mom do whatever she wants with my food and I will eat it." I think it meant a lot to her that she could make me lunch without me fussing over what she was making me. She offered for me to have a salad on the side. I loved the idea...however when she gave it to me....it was one of those salad's that says "I'm saying that I am a salad but really I am just an excuse for lots of dressing, cheese, and meat." I kinda freaked. She put practically a gallon of blue cheese dressing on it, tons of cut up ham slices, and LOTS OF CHEESE! One word: CALORIES. However I told myself I was going to eat it. So I did. And it was good! The soup (french onion) was delish. The salad was good too (I really don't like that much dressing and cheese though...even if they were 5 cal's each). But I did it. Actually I didn't finish per say. I ate all the "salad" but I couldn't finish my soup. I was proud of myself though. I did it!

Tonight I am going to a Christmas Party at a friends. I wish I were excited. I am going to try to get pumped up for it! I am not going to 1. worry about the party food drinks I will consume 2. worry about what others think of me and how much I eat. Its going to be fun if I make it fun!!! So that's what I am going do! I wish I didn't have to force this on myself and that it just came natural like it used to. I used to love parties and seeing friends. Now it is a source of fear and anxiety. That's going to change though. I know it. I just need some time! I need to go write an email now! Bubye!

Doctor's Appointment

So I am going to the doctor again this morning! She is just going to see how I am doing with the depression medications. I am nervous though because I have not gained any weight since my last appointment. (i might have even lost some eeks!) I really have been trying though! I have eaten many a cookie, danish, chocolate, etc. But I have also still be working out like crazy. Not good. 

Christmas was okay I guess. Kind of depressing not have David and Rachel here though (bro and sis in law). Didn't feel like Christmas without them! Got some great goods though! My favorite: A SNUGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attractive Aye? haha! I should really go get ready! I still have to eat breakfast and get ready for the day all in 30 minutes! Yikes!


so long,
Deb