It's snowing its pouring Deborah's spring break is boring! :P

Did you like my little rhyme? So my spring break has tragically been invaded by snow! sad day! I had all these grand plans of spending my spring break outside (tanning, walking, sitting). But alas, the clouds have decided to grace us with the presence of snow! Oh well! Might as well enjoy it! :D

so last night I went to a really fun/interesting/exciting class! I, my five readers (:P), am going to start a vegetable and herb garden! I went to a class with my mom, becky (sister), mike (bro-in law), and a friend that was about how to have a successful vegetable garden in my city. It was about an hour and a half long of all this interesting information on how to grow veggies and herbs! I am very excited! I can't wait to grow rosemary, oregano, basil, zuccini, beets, lettuce, swiss chard (favorite), carrots, potatoes, and so much more!  We already have a raised up garden that looks like this:

 Source

But I don't think it is going to be big enough to hold all that we want. So we are thinking of building one in our side yard that contains gravel. And then we are thinking of planting the herbs in separate pots because they tend to spread and invade the veggies! It is going to be great! I love fresh and organic produce and herbs! It should be fun to do as an activity/hobby with my mom too!

So we went and saw that "Adjustment Bureau (took me about fifteen times to spell that word right)". It was poopy. Don't see it. I was very disappointed. It was pretty much a slap in the face directed towards God. I was very offended by the message it had and would not recommend it to anyone. Oh and it was dead boring too. Hardly ANY action. That car crash moment in the trailer was THE ONLY car crash and only real "action packed" moment. Yeah Mat Damon punch two people and pushed a person but that was it. (I sound like a 15 year old boy) The acting was terrible except for Emily Blunt. I love her. :D It was still fun to go though! 

As far as recovery goes.....it is going really well. Still have my hard moments but it gets easier every day. Last night I got into an argument with my sister. I was feeling really down on myself afterwards and therefore wanted to just skip dinner. I seriously was thinking "Why am I recovering? I am such a mess up and failure anyways. Might as well punish myself and not eat." I sat their and battled whether or not to eat. Then I started thinking about how much I have gained since I have recovered. And I thought about how not eating is NOT going to solve my problems, make me happier, or make people like me more. So I ate! And it was yummy too! My amazing sister made oatmeal pancakes, eggs, potatoes, and fruit for dinner! These pancakes were THE BEST PANCAKES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously! She added tons of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves which made them kind of spicy! OH YUM! I just love strong flavored food! Oh and then right before she flipped them she sprinkled slivered almonds on top. They added a great crunch! (oh and you better believe I spread pb on top of these and then syrup and then yogurt! YUM!)

 SO SICK OF FOOD JOURNALING!

Oh and GUESS WHAT!?!?!??! I am 5 pounds from my goal weight. Five! Thats it! How has this gone SO FAST!?!??!? I just want it to be over. I am so tired of weighing myself, journaling my food, and trying to gain weight. I want to get back to a life where eating isn't what I am focused on. I want to stop worrying about how much I weigh! I am so over it. 5 pounds to freedom. Hahah! Well I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Its YOU time!

When is your spring break?

Do you like snow?

Do you like lots of spice and flavor in your foods?

Extra! Extra! Pictures all about it! heehee :D

Good morning! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppy Saturday! Yay! And happy spring break for those of you who are on it! My lovely professors are so sweet and put all the big midterms AFTER spring break! So guess what I will be doing??!?! Haha! No really....I don't mind! It is kind of really nice to have the extra time to study during spring break! I have a couple fun things planned so no worries!


I am feeling so much better than I did all of this week. Very glad. I was getting so worried that I went 5 steps backwards when I was making so much progress. However, I am feeling like I am recovering those steps. I have to remember that I am not going to be healed or cured over night. This takes time. Gotta remember that.


I am filling this post with pictures! YAY! Lets start with the most important pictures.......OATMEAL!

OIAJ! My favorite Peanut Butter from Costco. Ingredient List: Peanuts, Salt. Aka. Yum, Yum. Eaten lying on bed...does it get any better than this?

The fro-yo I had forever ago and never showed! LOVE!

A monster salad eaten in the car at school!

A delicious quinoa/rice salad I made!

It was called Salsa Salad and it was amazing! I will have to post the recipe!

Toasting coconut for carrot cake!

Carrot Cake batter spreading! Didn't turn out how I like it...it was really dry. BUMMER. :(

Creme Cheese frosting for carrot cake! Forgot to take final picture! :(

AMAZING WONDERFUL FRESH TACO'S! Yum! I got a shrimp taco and their signature taco!

Curried egg salad wrap...looks nasto....but oh so tasto! (cheesy) In the mix: hard boiled eggs, vegenase, relish, trader joes curry sauce, horseradish (why not?), and a toasted ww tortilla!

It has been so beautiful outside. Loving the weather...however yesterday was super cold and their were snow flurries....I hope today is nice! I want to go on a hike or walk or something. I am dying to go camping and hiking in the mountains. I almost just want to go even if I freeze my tooshy off! 

My sister and law is letting me borrow this! Can't wait to try it! I love work out videos!

We are going to see the Adjustment Bureau today! My favorite actress and my favorite actor in one movie that is packed with romance and action!?!?!?! LOVE! Super excited!

This is what I want to strive towards in my life: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3:12-14

Happy Saturdaying!


Questions for you:
Do you like fish tacos?
Would you see the Adjustment Bureau?
Do you like work out videos? Any good ones you know of?

A snowy walk!

Hello all! Today is a good day. Thank goodness for that! This morning I cried for a while and it really made me feel better. I haven't cried in several days (thats a record....hahah just kidding!) and so it felt good to just let it out. Last night we went to go see The Kings Speech (GO SEE IT!)! On the way there I just wanted to burst out sobbing. I was so upset. It was over silly things too.


So last night I was planning on eating some soup for dinner but then my mom told me that she had reheated some leftover spaghetti and meatballs. So I kind of felt like I needed to have that since she already had it ready. The thing is I really didn't want to eat that. And it made me realize something. I have to sike myself up for the food I am going to be eating. seriously. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I have to. I have to plan and know what I am going to be eating or else I get really upset. Like the other night when I had hot dogs (woo hoo I did it!) I had to sike myself up for it for a couple of hours. Once I knew that was what we were having for dinner I had to prepare myself mentally. Does anyone else have to do this? Anyways, I had to be flexible last night and it really bothered me. Then we left late for the movie which really bothered me too. In the car I just wanted to burst out sobbing....but I didn't want to spoil the night for the rest of the family so I just held it inside. Anyways, it felt good to just release this morning.


Yesterday and the day before I took Henry (my dog) for a walk! We were finally able to go since most of the snow ( i thought) had been shoveled of of peoples sidewalks. well....they weren't really shoveled so we had to trudge through but he loved it! 

Henry in the snow. Sorry its blurry!

I realized something on this walk too. Whenever I am out in nature I feel strong and beautiful. It seriously is the only time I feel this way. When I was on this walk I felt cute in my baggy jeans, big sweater, scarf, and huge sunglasses. No I didn't have a great outfit on. No I didn't do my hair well that day. No I didn't have new clothes on. But I still felt beautiful. There is something about looking at all of God's creation that just inspires me. I am reminded of the beauty of this world and the beauty that God has bestowed on me. I love being outside! I can't wait for summer when i can be outside without freezing my toushy off!

I want to go back to what I was talking in my post about Ephesians 5. In verse 11 it talks about not being associated with or spending our precious time with the "unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." I think this is something that we should all do. I once thought that it was crazy to out loud tell a sin to go away or to stop. But I really believe it works. I know I sound CRAZY. But seriously. Saying it outloud kind of pushes it out and brings it out in the open. When I first started my recovery, outloud I said "Go away anorexia. Go away vanity." The minute after this I felt such relief. Its like a burden was lifted. I then prayed that the Lord would fill my heart with something else. Something better. Since that day I have been stronger and had less of a burden. I did this after I watched this inspiring and helpful video (I think her focus is a little off at the end when she talks about being skinny after anorexia and all that but it is still helpful): 

Anyways, I think this verse follows along with that. You don't have to yell out and cast out any sins or anything. But I do think that we need to recognize these sins and reprove (which means to  to scold or correct) them. We need to discontinue obsessing about our appearances, control, etc (the thing that is an unfruitful work of darkness). Then we need to point out those flaws in our life and correct and reprove them! I hope this is helpful to some. I am not trying to be all judgmental and stuff. This is just something that I have needed to work on with myself. I hope it is helpful! Have a wonderful Saturday!

I am such a boy...why? BECAUSE I LOVE INCEPTION!

So tonight we are going to watch inception with some friends! If you haven't seen it.....stop what you are doing....drive to that red/magic box and get it for 1 dollar. Totally worth it. In fact I might am going to buy it today. It is worth that much (I DON'T buy movies). When we rented it 2 weeks ago I watched it 2....make that 3 times in 2 days. Yeah. Sad, huh?

So I decided that I am going to add some more pages that have tips on recovery. My counselor gave me a ton of worksheets and stuff that I think would be helpful to everyone! 


As far as my post ....whatever it was.....3 days ago?....I wanted to talk more about the whole trials and tribulations thing. Well I have come to a conclusion. A big one....one that has honestly made me understand why I have struggled so much. Trials and tribulations make us into who we are. I honestly can't say that I would be as  wise, mature, close to God, and eventually happy if I had not gone through what I have. 


I can truly call it a blessing like James writes in the NT. In the very beginning of the book of James, he says, "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." So we should be counting our blessings when we are struggling the most with the temptation of restricting/over exercising/ purging/ and even having ed thoughts? Well I don't think that the Lord wants us to be happy about those feelings because that is sin. But I do think He wants us to see how we are blessed in other areas of our life. Most importantly, He wants us to look/lean/pray/and cast our cares upon Him when we are struggling. 


For me, I feel like I have grown SO much as a person through my experience with ED. Seriously. Yes, I have hurts and problems. But have been broken and since I have relied on the Lord...I am being pieced backed together. He wants to carry our burdens. Remember the verse, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light,"? He ain't gonna drop you and leave you there. He is going to take your burdens and lift them away.....IF YOU LET HIM! That is the key. 


Verse 4 is always looked over in this chapter. " But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." Isn't that what we are ALL striving for with our ED'S? Perfection....to be entire.....and wanting nothing. To be complete....and in control. Well looky here. This is the answer. Fall on the Lord. When you are struggling look to Him. And this will cause you to have faith which will cause you to have patience with is a perfect work that makes us perfect, entire, and wanting nothing. Simple. As. That. 


James 5:11 says, "We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." You. You who has cried, suffered, been torn inside, and outside. You who has felt completely alone, helpless, sad beyond belief, destroyed inside and out, ugly, fat, and completely worthless. Your struggling is not for nothing. There is a purpose. We may not know that purpose until we meet Jesus face to face. But there is a plan. One that will end with, "Well done my good and faithful servant." 

I will leave you with this final verse. 
James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."