Well I woke up quite early this morning and instead of just sitting around doing nothing, I figured I might as well post something.
This week my sisters, Mom, and I went to see :
There was one theme in the movie that really struck a chord with me. Please watch the following video:
While the "20 seconds of insane courage" spoken about in this movie is more about catching the girl you want, I felt like I could apply it to eating disorder recovery when I read this post by Tessa @ amazingasset.com. During recovery, we are constantly trying to push ourselves to eat new things that we categorize as "fear foods" or "unhealthy". Its a battle. It seems as though it is impossible at times to just get the food down our gullets!
I would like to suggest to you that a major key to success might be held in this "20 seconds of insane courage". I don't know about you, but when I fail at succeeding to eat a fear food or just eat like a normal person, its usually because I thought about it WAY too much.
Those with eating disorders have a terrible disease of thinking too much. We overthink EVERYTHING. Sadly this is our reality:
We second guess every bite we take. We second guess that we counted our calories correctly so we re-calculate them for the 50th time that day. We second guess that the scale REALLY read our weight right so we re-way ourselves 15 times before we finally start to break down weeping because we gained 1 pound. We second guess that we will be okay if we really start to recover. We second guess that we will be loved if we start eating pizza again. We second guess that not living an eating disordered life is really "that much better". We think way too much and talk ourselves out of the key to our recovery. EATING!
That 20 seconds of courage is our golden opportunity to do the impossible. This is kind of how it feels at times:
Yes, it may feel impossible to NOT workout today. It may feel like you won't be able to stop eating cookies if you start eating them again. It may feel like you will lose ALL control if you stop eating ONLY "safe food". And I will admit, you WILL LOSE CONTROL. You will. You CAN'T control every area of your life anymore. You have to let go. You have to stop putting all that pressure on yourself. You have to take life and use it. End this sheltered life where all you do is the same routines/rituals each day. Try new foods! Heck, LIVE ON THE WILD SIDE!
If you don't ACT within that "20 (or maybe for your its 10 or 50) seconds of insane courage" you end up disappointing yourself and not truly jumping on the recovery bandwagon. Its A LOT easier said then done, I know. But I encourage you that IT GETS EASIER. It does. Yes, you may hate yourself after you eat that piece of pie. But with each try, it gets better. You realize that "Yes, pie is worth it". You realize that you deserve to live a life of enjoyment. You realize that gaining 10, 20, 30, yes even 40 pounds is HEALTHY and will make you HAPPY!
We have to stop living like this:
Take that inspiration/courage/bravery and ACT ON IT! Don't wait till tomorrow to start truly recovering. Act out of that "20 seconds of insane courage". Do something crazy and DO IT OFTEN! Live your life with arms WIDE OPEN!
|I kind of really want that dress! Random, sorry.|
Just do it. Like now. I mean it. Go to the kitchen. Find 1 thing that you are afraid to eat (find more than one thing if you can) and EAT IT. I'm not kidding. This is it. This is your time. Get off your computer, stop reading this crazy girl's blog, and start recovering. Remember: