Thursday, April 28, 2011

I'm back and Bootylicious Award!

Hola Chicas!

So I am not even going to go through that whole....sorry I have been gone for so is school takes up my whole life..........I have been reading all of your know the story already. :P

As I wrote about in my last post, the Thorn was amazing. Life changing. I LOVE EASY THEATRE! haha! Here is a picture of myself and my sister in our Isrealite garb:
The make-up people literally splattered and painted us with bronzer.
God healed so many broken hearts over the weekend. I just received an email from the director...and over 3,000 known people let Christ heal them after seeing the play. (and so many more I am sure that we don't know of) I met tons of wonderful people. It has helped so much in my recovery as well. Seriously, since it ended I feel so much lighter, freer, and less concerned about appearances.

I could go on forever but I will move on.

I recieved a bootlyicious award from the lovely princess lila at

1. Post this award with the picture and name whoever tagged you in it
2. Do the STUFF
3. Award to 7 others and tell them you did so!
1. Name 3 things that are lying right next to you
2. Name 2 foods you cannot live without
3. Name 1 thing you did today

Here we go with "The Stuff":
Not really lying next me, but I love this photo of my sis and I hung up on a piece of have to see my corkboard wall!

Have you seen this movie??? should!

Calculator, folder, accounting textbook....YIPEE! I love accounting so much! 

2. Ohhhh man.....your kidding me right?!?!? 2 Favorite Foods!??!?! it goes
Yogurt and Peanut butter!!!!! Oh and those two things together is awesome!
Oh man.....with graham crackers......can that be on the list too?!?!?!
3. One thing I did today on my Bible study:

I said it before and I'll say it again. I LOVE THIS STUDY!
7 people:

It is snackaroon time! See ya lata!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Long time no see

Hello! I apologize for being MIA for the past few weeks. Thankfully, it is not because things have been bad.....they have been MUY BUENO!!!!!!!!!!!! (that is ALL I remember from taking Spanish for 2 years....oh dear) Thank you to all for your sweet comments and encouragement on my last post! I pray and hope that you all have found relief like I have.

How have things been great?!? Well....for starters...the last thing I go to bed thinking about and the first thing I think of when I wake up HAVE NOT BEEN ABOUT HATING MYSELF!!!! YAY! This has spilled over into the rest of my day too. I am finally going sometimes a few hours without thinking about food, how fat I am, etc. IT IS AMAZING. Absolutely life changing. I am not writing in a food journal anymore which even though it was SO helpful at the start....had turned into a restriction tool.

I AM INTUITIVELY EATING! Or at least trying to. It is really hard to KNOW what your body is wanting. Am I full? Am I hungry? But it is getting first I dropped some major poundage......I was eating too healthy....I was full all the time but I was full from eating large salads. So I hiked up my calorie intake again and I feel much better. Lately I have been craving chocolate. I have NEVER been a huge chocolate fan. But lately I am going CRAZY for chocolate! Not a bad thing since my dad gives me chocolate bars weekly! haha! :D And guess what?!?! I am letting myself eat them! YAY!

I have been so stressed out about life though......I am not doing as well in school as I would hope to be doing. I had a piano recital last week which I was cramming for. I can't find a job! :( I am also.....drum roll please..........IN THIS PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SUPER excited....I don't have any big roles (i started too late to audition). But I am a crowd person, slave, and mob person. Being the slave is the most fun! They have REAL WHIPS that they use! This play is AUTHENTIC! And best of is changing my life. Never has the love of Christ been so real to me. I cry after every practice out of sheer joy and adoration for our loving Saviour. If it is in your city....please go. Not only is the story the best....but their is pyrotechnics, dancing, acrobatics, etc!!! It is like a Cirque de Sole show!!!!!!!!!! I am loving it! is kind of stressing me out because we have practice a lot....but if it cuts into my studying is totally worth it. This is for something WAY greater than perfect grades

Write now, the Lord is just teaching me to rely on Him and ask Him for help. I am also starting to be a part of a Bible study with my sisters and friends. I LOVE IT! 

This is the workbook for the study.

God is working SO much in my life right now. It is incredible. He is answering all my prayers and strengthening me for the future. I hope and pray that you all find the same strength, hope, freedom, happiness, joy, appreciation for life, and respect for your bodies that I have found. 

Love this quote: "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." -Dolly Parton. I would have to agree with Miss Parton!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


First of all..........................thank you all so very much for your amazingly kind, encouraging, and wonderful comments on my last post and all of my posts. I appreciate you all so much and am so thankful to have support out there.

So I am healed. Cured. Fixed. Eating working at full capacity. Yeah. You heard me. 

After that whole twinkie episode.......I was cured. I will forever be a twinkie lover (okay I actually am not the biggest fan of twinkies but since I ate that twinkie.....I have been a new girl!) I have been eating pure JUNK and I don't give a crap. Not one bit. In the last day I have (with some help) eaten an entire chocolate bar. I don't really know how it happened. It just did. And I don't care! No....I am not binging and all that....I am just desperately trying to gain weight so I can stop living in this ED world.

I AM SO STINKIN' SICK OF IT....ALL OF IT! I never want to weigh myself EVER again.....I never want to count calories EVER again......I never want to pinch my stomach EVER again.....I never want to exercise for 3 hours straight EVER again. I am done. That's it. Enough. I am through. It was a terrible ride....and I am finally able to get off. I will never ever catch a ride on the ED train again. 

So you may be asking why all of a sudden I am "cured". I can give you only ONE REASON. His name is Jesus. He has saved my life. I give ALL the credit to Him. I could have never ever made it through without Him. I could never be at the place I am in my life without Him.  HE is the one who has "cured" me. I desperately pray and hope that you all find the same relief. He is the only one that we can find TRUE happiness, peace, hope, love, grace, justice, and power in. LOOK NO FURTHER!

The Lord has really showed me how much I need to live my life to the fullest through all the disasters in Japan. Those people had NO warning that their was going to be an earthquake that would literally shift the world. Think about if you were in their shoes. If you died  tonight in a massive earthquake and a tsunami that carried you out into the middle of the ocean......where would you go? Will you simply cease to exist or is their something far greater and far worse out their that you are missing? Please think about it and ask yourself "what is going to happen to me"? 
I want to live my life like this. This is how Jesus lived His life on earth. He treated everyday as if it were His last day. He gave everything of Himself with the time that He had here on earth. Ultimately He gave up His very own life in order to give us life. If today was your last day...would you except Him into your life?

Saturday, March 12, 2011







Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's snowing its pouring Deborah's spring break is boring! :P

Did you like my little rhyme? So my spring break has tragically been invaded by snow! sad day! I had all these grand plans of spending my spring break outside (tanning, walking, sitting). But alas, the clouds have decided to grace us with the presence of snow! Oh well! Might as well enjoy it! :D

so last night I went to a really fun/interesting/exciting class! I, my five readers (:P), am going to start a vegetable and herb garden! I went to a class with my mom, becky (sister), mike (bro-in law), and a friend that was about how to have a successful vegetable garden in my city. It was about an hour and a half long of all this interesting information on how to grow veggies and herbs! I am very excited! I can't wait to grow rosemary, oregano, basil, zuccini, beets, lettuce, swiss chard (favorite), carrots, potatoes, and so much more!  We already have a raised up garden that looks like this:

But I don't think it is going to be big enough to hold all that we want. So we are thinking of building one in our side yard that contains gravel. And then we are thinking of planting the herbs in separate pots because they tend to spread and invade the veggies! It is going to be great! I love fresh and organic produce and herbs! It should be fun to do as an activity/hobby with my mom too!

So we went and saw that "Adjustment Bureau (took me about fifteen times to spell that word right)". It was poopy. Don't see it. I was very disappointed. It was pretty much a slap in the face directed towards God. I was very offended by the message it had and would not recommend it to anyone. Oh and it was dead boring too. Hardly ANY action. That car crash moment in the trailer was THE ONLY car crash and only real "action packed" moment. Yeah Mat Damon punch two people and pushed a person but that was it. (I sound like a 15 year old boy) The acting was terrible except for Emily Blunt. I love her. :D It was still fun to go though! 

As far as recovery is going really well. Still have my hard moments but it gets easier every day. Last night I got into an argument with my sister. I was feeling really down on myself afterwards and therefore wanted to just skip dinner. I seriously was thinking "Why am I recovering? I am such a mess up and failure anyways. Might as well punish myself and not eat." I sat their and battled whether or not to eat. Then I started thinking about how much I have gained since I have recovered. And I thought about how not eating is NOT going to solve my problems, make me happier, or make people like me more. So I ate! And it was yummy too! My amazing sister made oatmeal pancakes, eggs, potatoes, and fruit for dinner! These pancakes were THE BEST PANCAKES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously! She added tons of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves which made them kind of spicy! OH YUM! I just love strong flavored food! Oh and then right before she flipped them she sprinkled slivered almonds on top. They added a great crunch! (oh and you better believe I spread pb on top of these and then syrup and then yogurt! YUM!)
Oh and GUESS WHAT!?!?!??! I am 5 pounds from my goal weight. Five! Thats it! How has this gone SO FAST!?!??!? I just want it to be over. I am so tired of weighing myself, journaling my food, and trying to gain weight. I want to get back to a life where eating isn't what I am focused on. I want to stop worrying about how much I weigh! I am so over it. 5 pounds to freedom. Hahah! Well I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Its YOU time!
When is your spring break?
Do you like snow?
Do you like lots of spice and flavor in your foods?

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Extra! Extra! Pictures all about it! heehee :D

Good morning! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppy Saturday! Yay! And happy spring break for those of you who are on it! My lovely professors are so sweet and put all the big midterms AFTER spring break! So guess what I will be doing??!?! Haha! No really....I don't mind! It is kind of really nice to have the extra time to study during spring break! I have a couple fun things planned so no worries!

I am feeling so much better than I did all of this week. Very glad. I was getting so worried that I went 5 steps backwards when I was making so much progress. However, I am feeling like I am recovering those steps. I have to remember that I am not going to be healed or cured over night. This takes time. Gotta remember that.

I am filling this post with pictures! YAY! Lets start with the most important pictures.......OATMEAL!

OIAJ! My favorite Peanut Butter from Costco. Ingredient List: Peanuts, Salt. Aka. Yum, Yum. Eaten lying on bed...does it get any better than this?

The fro-yo I had forever ago and never showed! LOVE!

A monster salad eaten in the car at school!

A delicious quinoa/rice salad I made!

It was called Salsa Salad and it was amazing! I will have to post the recipe!

Toasting coconut for carrot cake!
Carrot Cake batter spreading! Didn't turn out how I like was really dry. BUMMER. :(

Creme Cheese frosting for carrot cake! Forgot to take final picture! :(

AMAZING WONDERFUL FRESH TACO'S! Yum! I got a shrimp taco and their signature taco!

Curried egg salad wrap...looks nasto....but oh so tasto! (cheesy) In the mix: hard boiled eggs, vegenase, relish, trader joes curry sauce, horseradish (why not?), and a toasted ww tortilla!
It has been so beautiful outside. Loving the weather...however yesterday was super cold and their were snow flurries....I hope today is nice! I want to go on a hike or walk or something. I am dying to go camping and hiking in the mountains. I almost just want to go even if I freeze my tooshy off! 
My sister and law is letting me borrow this! Can't wait to try it! I love work out videos!

We are going to see the Adjustment Bureau today! My favorite actress and my favorite actor in one movie that is packed with romance and action!?!?!?! LOVE! Super excited!

This is what I want to strive towards in my life: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3:12-14

Happy Saturdaying!

Questions for you:
Do you like fish tacos?
Would you see the Adjustment Bureau?
Do you like work out videos? Any good ones you know of?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The marathon of life.

So these past two weeks I feel like I have run a marathon of life. I have felt so many things, conquered so many battles, and discovered so many truths. I have a TON to say.

First on the agenda is to tell you that.....................drum roll please............................. I HAVE MY PERIOD AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! It started on Sunday. HALLELUJAH! I ran downstairs with the biggest smile plastered on my face and told my mom and anna. We were all jumping up and down was awesome. Then Sarah joined in! I have never celebrated over a period before. :P

After this....I cried. Tears of joy. Pure joy. I felt the happiest I have felt in years. Thank God. I am not broken! I am a working female! ahahha!

Monday and Tuesday were awesome. I could not stop smiling. I was on cloud nine! Then after counseling on Tuesday afternoon (yesterday) I started to struggle. We kind of re-hashed some things and it really upset me. It was good though. But since then I have been struggling. I hate this yo-yoing. How can I go from being the happiest and most confidant that I have been in YEARS to feeling ugly, sad, and awful the next day. I don't get it. But I am not going to let it overtake me. I will feel that joy again! I know I will

Something incredible happened today. So I was at school and I was walking to my car. I go to a school that is not in the best part of town. There was a young girl sitting on her pink backpack who, while I was walking by, asked me what time it was. I told her 3:15. She proceeded to tell me that her dad was picking her up. I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I sat with her while she waited for her dad (for safety reasons). She said yes. So we proceeded to talk.

She basically told me her life story. Over a 15 minute conversation I learned all of the following things from her:
She was 13 years old.
She had a friend at school that told her that she didn't eat healthfully enough when she ate a sandwich, a soda pop, and a fruit roll up for lunch.
This friend also would tell her how many calories her food had and that she shouldn't be eating that food because it would make her fat.
Her brother was taken away by the state because of her physically abusive stepfather at the age of 3.
Her mom died when she was 3.
She lives with her birth dad, grandpa, and grandma.
Her grandpa is abusive.
She used to starve herself and skip all meals except for lunch at school.
Her boyfriend broke- up with her to be with a girl who "wears mini-skirts, is thin, and has blonde hair."
She said that she never was able to have a childhood and that she had to grow up and take care of herself.
She lost her best friend for life this year.

She told me ALL of these things in 15 minutes. She even cried while she was talking about her grandpa. It was terrible. Awful. I wanted to cry, hug her, scream at all the people who have hurt her, and take her home to live with me. I tried to tell her about Jesus. I asked her, "Do you know who Jesus is?" she said that her grandpa was a catholic and the rest of her family is lutheran. So I asked her, "Do you believe in Jesus?" She never answered. I proceeded to tell her that I am anorexic and that Jesus is THE ONE who is carrying me through. I told her to pray and go to him whenever she felt alone or sad. She ran off when her dad came to pick her up and didn't even say bye. It was the shortest most eye opening conversation of my life. I can't stop thinking about her. I don't even know her name. I KNOW GOD SENT her into my life. I KNOW IT. I don't know what to do with it though. 

I want to do something. I want to make a difference. I want to talk to girls who are struggling. I have this disorder for a reason. What am I going to do with it? Hold onto it until I wither away...or push it away and help others. I choose the latter. Please pray for this girl.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

This is something that I wrote to all of my facebook friends. It was hard to do. I like to just keep my mouth shut and not talk about hard things. But I did it. And if it helps just one was totally worth it.
I have had this topic on my heart especially this week because it is National Eating Disorders Week. I wanted to write to you all (yes I tagged practically all of my friends) about something that is very important and personal to me. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to read this (sorry for the length). I am not going to post any grotesque pictures for you to see. However, if you have an eating disorder, know someone who has one, or have never met someone who has an eating disorder, I hope that this helps you to realize the significance and detrimental consequences of this disease that is skyrocketing in our society today.

Did you know that out of all the mental illnesses, eating disorders are the number one killer? Currently, there are 11 million people in the United States suffer from anorexia nervosa and bulimia. Millions more suffer from binge eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses just like depression, schizophrenia, or Alzheimer’s. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders found 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years due to suicide or heart failure and only 30-40% will ever fully recover. Those with anorexia nervosa are 12 times as likely to die between the ages of 15 and 24 than ANY OTHER causes of death for females. Not many people know these facts.

It is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. However, not many people talk about eating disorders because they are:
  1. A sensitive topic
  2. Viewed as “selfish” and “vain”
  3. Misunderstood.
This is seen by the fact that funding for schizophrenia is over 210 times as much as the funding for the research of eating disorders. Yet, the mortality rate for those with eating disorders shoots way above the mortality rate of those with schizophrenia.

<span>What are the eating disorders? </span>
Eating disorders are different for everyone. Some may struggle with one thing and some may struggle with another. There is no real model for eating disorders. These are just the most common.

Those who have anorexia nervosa restrict their intake of food and over exercise. Those who have anorexia nervosa don’t eat enough food to fuel their bodies resulting in them losing weight dramatically. These patients are many times hospitalized once they reach down to 90-100 pounds. However, there are many who fall to 80, even 70 pounds. These patients have to be tube fed and restricted to bed rest for several months. These are the side effects that anorexics experience:
Fatigue and loss of energy
Hypertension (low blood pressure)
Dizziness due to low blood pressure
Fine hair growth on body (lanugo hair)
Hair loss
Pins and needles (parathesia due to changes in the peripheral changes in the nervous system)
Brittle nails and fragile bones due to low calcium
Increased vulnerability to osteoporosis
Anaemia and pale skin due to low iron levels
Easy bruising
Susceptibility to cold due to loss of insulation
Edema (tissue swelling from water) due to electrolyte imbalances
Cessation of menstruation
Strain on most of the bodies organs
Thyroid dysfunction
Irregularity in the secretion of growth hormone
Potential kidney failure
Urinary tract infections
Chronic indigestion
Potential liver failure

Bulimia patients induce weight loss by vomiting the food they have eaten. Many will binge and then purge the food that they eat. There is also exercise bulimia which is rapidly increasing. Those with exercise bulimia may eat a normal amount of food but then proceed to exercise for a very long amount of time. And when I mean a long amount of time, I mean they exercise most of the day. The symptoms for bulimia include:
Low potassium (loss of electrolytes)
Kidney damage
Heart irregularities and possible cardiac arrest
Increased cavities in teeth due to loss of tooth enamel
Hoarseness of voice
Swollen glands
Erosion of the enamel of back teeth (from vomiting)
Broken blood vessels in the face
Constant sore throat
Erosion of the esophagus
Hiatal hernis

Those who have binge eating disorder eat large amounts of food in order to cope with emotional distress. Symptoms include:
Type 2 diabetes
Gallbladder disease
High cholesterol
High blood pressure
Heart disease 
Certain types of cancer
Joint and muscle pain
Gastrointestinal problems
Sleep apnea

<span>Mental Symptoms:</span>
Among all of these symptoms, most of those with eating disorders will tell you the worst part is the mental pain they experience. Eating disordered individuals in most cases are:
Extremely Depressed
Enormously self conscious to the point that they literally hate themselves and think that everyone else hates them too.
In a constant state of thinking about food, exercise, and dieting.
Obsessed with weighing themselves (many weigh themselves at any chance they can get).
Unable to eat food made by someone else or eat food in front of someone else.
The scary part about eating disorders is that when an individual is so low in their weight, a chemical called edema kicks in and causes them to become swollen and puffy. For a person with an eating disorder, this causes them to see themselves as larger than they are.

<span>What are the causes of eating disorders?</span>
There is not one specific cause of eating disorders. The key factor is that eating disorders areMENTAL ILNESSES. They are caused by depression, abuse, loneliness, family issues, friend issues, bullying, and so much more. They are even learning that their may be a certain brain make up that may make someone more likely to have an eating disorder. Those with eating disorders are trying to find SOME WAY to be acceptable, loved, and worthy. The media is probably one of the largest factors. The media equates beauty with happiness. Those who are searching for happiness see being skinny as their only way to get out of a situation or to be loved.
The average female is 5’4” and 140 pounds. The average model is 5’11” and 117 pounds. Yet we admire and look at models as “thin, fit, happy, and beautiful”. This unhealthy media portrayal of women affects young girls and boys. Between the ages of 11 and 13, fifty percent of girls think they are overweight. Eighty percent of 13 year old children have tried to lose weight.

Something needs to be done.

What can you do?
Learn more about it. The information I got was from an organization called NEDA. Here is their website which is full of information, help, and encouragement: Please watch this video if you have a moment:
Talk about it. Warn your friends and family about eating disorders and help others to see the dangers of starving and purging your way to thinness and eating in order to cope with life’s challenges. This is a great program that NEDA started:
Watch what you say. Do you find yourself talking about food in a negative manner? Do you talk about how others are “lazy, unhealthy, large (or even fat)” in front of others? Keep these thoughts to yourself. Who is it helping by breaking down yourself by telling others how you “shouldn’t have eaten this, or should have worked out harder, etc.”? Food is not bad. It is food. Nourishment for our bodies. Please don’t talk about food as though it is harmful. This is not only to help those who have eating disorders. Obesity is a growing concern in our world. However, even talking negatively about food and exercise is hurting the obese and making them feel inadequate and never able to achieve health.
Tell someone. If you know someone who has symptoms or who you suspect might have an eating disorder, tell someone. First, try talking to the person. Most likely, they will not see their problem and not believe you. So go and talk to their parents or go and get a group of friends to talk to them.
This topic is something that is extremely personal to me. I am on a journey to find a life where food is seen as nourishment and exercise is not something that I have to do every day in order to be healthy. It is my goal to help the world realize that being beautiful and thin is not what brings happiness. There is a Higher Power at work that will wipe away all the pain, sorrows, and tears that hurt brings.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love exercise and eating healthfully. Therefore, I am not saying that we should all start eating Twinkies and fried chicken. Health can be achieved by eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, grains, protein, and “healthy” fats. Exercise in the form of running for 30 minutes a day, strengthening your muscles by lifting weights, riding your bike, or playing a sport can help people mentally and physically. Everything just needs to be in moderation. The world needs to find that happy balance.

NEDA’s mission statement is: “NEDA envisions a world without eating disorders.”

Let’s do our best to make this vision a reality.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Fennel Orange Cranberry Sauce.....and musings on life.

Hello bloggies! Hope you all had a wonderful National Almonds Day! I had a kinda crappy one to be honest. I ate my oatmeal that morning that consisted of almonds, 1/2 banana, peanut butter, agave, oats of course, and butter. Whew. the butter about gave me a heart attack. I am terrified of butter. Probably one of my favorite biggest fear foods. My counselor/nutritionist told me that I am still not eating enough fats. She said either eat 4 tablespoons of peanut butter or put in a tsp. of butter. So I put the butter. It took me about 1/2 of an hour to eat it. So hard. But I got through it. Lunch was misery. I was feeling SO guilty about the butter in my oatmeal that eating lunch was like pulling teeth. I was on the brink of tears when a classmate came up and sat next to me. Can't start cryin' to a 50 year old woman from your statistics class about having to eat a salad, garlic bread, and spaghetti. was a hard day. But the next day was better. Today I put on some old pants that for the last 6 months have been HUGE on me. Now they fit just right. I know I should be happy and rejoicing but I just don't feel like it. Gaining weight is hard people. Harder than most people think. I feel like being a couch potato and eating as much as I can is my job. I can't wait till I am at a healthy weight again and just stay their. It will come soon. I just wish it would come sooner. Enough of Debbie Downer.....lets move on to that recipe I promised a while ago:

Fennel Orange Cranberry Sauce by David Lieberman -6 to 8 servings
8 oz of frozen or fresh cranberries (whole)
1/2 naval orange, zested
1 whole naval orange, juiced
1/4 cup of agave nectar or 1/2 cup of sugar
1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
Directions: combine ingredients in saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer, reduce heat to low and cook, stirring frequently, until cranberries begin to break down and water evaporates, about 8-10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

I am telling you. EVERY person who has eaten this has hated it said it is the best cranberry sauce ever! It is so simple too! Put it on turkey, chicken, in rice, on your oatmeal, on a sandwich, on anything and it will make it delicious! You have to try it!

I read a really helpful short article from a magazine we get. It is called "Coming out and going in!" and it is taken from UCB's Word for Today. It goes like this:

"Before God's people could get out of Egypt, Pharaoh made them three different offers. To each Moses said, "no". If he had not they'd never have got out! First, Pharaoh said, "go, only leave your children here." Next, he said, "go only leave your business here." Finally, he said, "go, only don't go too far". Listen to what Moses told him, "there shall not an hoof be left behind", Exodus 10.26. That's what you've got to do too- look the enemy in the eye and say, "No! I'm taking my family, I'm taking my business, and I'm going all the way with God!" That's what it takes to get out of Egypt!

But then there is the question of getting into the Promised Land? That happens city at a time... one habit at a time.... one attitude at a time and one step of faith at a time. 

Never speak words that make the enemy think he's still in control- he's not! The bible says you have the authority to drive him out - and He's got to go, Luke 10:17. If you allow him even an inch, he'll turn it into a stronghold, Ephesians 4:27.

Rise up in faith today and announce, "I'm coming out and I'm going in!"

A couple eats from the last couple weeks:
                                              I don't like Jif PB but it was almost empty so I snatched it up and ate my oatmeal out of it!

Salad at school with garbanzo of my favorite toppings!

"Orange pinwheels" with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and allspice with a side of almonds! YUM!
Hope that you all have a grand weekend!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Happy National Almond Day!

YAY! It is National Almond Day!

Be sure to eat lots of almonds today in celebration! Almonds have tons and tons of nutrients! Check out this website to learn more about how almonds can prevent cancer, osteoporosis, heart disease and much more:!

What is your favorite nut?
Mine is almonds...duh! hahah! I also LOVE walnuts, brazillian nuts (try right good and unique), cashews, peanuts, pretty much all of them except pecans!

How are you going to celebrate National Almond Day?
MMmmmm.....I am going to eat almonds in my oats, on my salad, in my yogurt, as a snack....etc!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

New Year's Resolutions....a month late! :P Part One.

Good Morning Bloggy World!

I hope everyone is doing just grand today! I certainly am. Last night I did not feel this way. In fact I kind of came to a breaking point.

This is how I felt.
I seriously was at one of the closest moments I have been to wanting to give up. I looked in the mirror and saw what I thought was a fat pig who was hideous inside and out. Yesterday I didn't eat much. And I did it consciously. Part of it was that I have a cold so my appetite was not huge but I also restricted. I was home alone and while I was doing some body checking and pinching and squeezing of my "fat" ( and necessary fat to live) I told myself that I hated myself and was fat and ugly and that NOBODY liked me.I yelled that I wanted to die. I was saying it to God. I used to beg and plead to God that I would die. I haven't done this in a long time. I am sad that I would do something like that again. I ran through my head all of the rejections from friends and others and equated my appearance with the rejection. I told myself, "No wonder I have no friends. I am hideous and annoying and ugly and horrible." You see...since I have no CLOSE CLOSE BFFs right now....I think that I have NO friends....which is completely untrue. I have plenty of friends at school and ones from high school that I still am friends with. But since I don't see them often and I don't make an effort to be social I figure that no one likes me. Silly. And you know what made me feel the most ugly? My attitude. I feel SO guilty to God for hating myself so much. I still do. But this morning I awakened refreshed and invigorated to make a change.

One thing that is helping me is this book:

Great book. You should go get it. It makes me feel normal and not alone. At the beginning of each chapter there is a quote. The one for the Chapter called , "Do it for You," says, 
"The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping." 
Read that several times to really let it sink in. Its very profound, true, and enlightening. I need to make myself happy for me and God. NO ONE ELSE. I will never ever ever ever please EVERYONE. NEVER. And that's okay! The only people I need to please is the Lord and myself. (aside from obeying parents and of course I am not going to go around hurting people to please myself.... you get the idea)

So this is my new and ultimate New Year's Resolution (a month late)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to STOP....STOP....STOP pleasing others. RIGHT NOW. This is it. NO MORE.

I also came up with a list of 
Goals For 2011:
1 Weight XXX (healthy weight) and maintain.
2 After weighing XXX pounds stop weighing myself.
3 Read Bible everyday BEFORE homework, exercising, and computer time.(I usually end up at the end of the day reading for about 1 minute before bed because I put it off all day.)
4 Pray at least 5x's a day.( I probably pray once or twice a day. I don't even give thanks for food anymore. Not good.) 
5 Find 5 positive things each day about myself and repeat them out loud (suggestion from book).
6 Don't body check.
7 Don't not wear something because it shows curves..
8 Take 2 rest days from exercise a week.
9 Do only 2 days of cardio a week.
10 Study for only 5 hours a day. Stop after five hours (I study WAY TOO MUCH!)
11 Every time I feel ugly, fat, etc.......pray. (This one is going to help a lot...I know it.) 

So these are my goals that are things that I need to change about myself. I have another list of more fun goals! I will post those next.(Please don't compare yourself to these goals. Everybody has different goals/standards. These are just mine.)

Now because I am pretty much a go with the flow kind of person PERFECTIONIST, I would normally follow these goal religiously and beat myself up if I don't do something for just one day. I am not going to do that. These are things I want to strive for. As long as I make some effort......I am accomplishing something. A quote from the book above helped me to realize this. Micheal Addison Read said, 
"Since every failure is a lesson, every challenge an opportunityy, and every joy a triumph, it's hard to go wrong."