I hope everyone is doing just grand today! I certainly am. Last night I did not feel this way. In fact I kind of came to a breaking point.
|This is how I felt.|
One thing that is helping me is this book:
"The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping."
Read that several times to really let it sink in. Its very profound, true, and enlightening. I need to make myself happy for me and God. NO ONE ELSE. I will never ever ever ever please EVERYONE. NEVER. And that's okay! The only people I need to please is the Lord and myself. (aside from obeying parents and of course I am not going to go around hurting people to please myself.... you get the idea)
So this is my new and ultimate New Year's Resolution (a month late)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to STOP....STOP....STOP pleasing others. RIGHT NOW. This is it. NO MORE.
I also came up with a list of
Goals For 2011:
1 Weight XXX (healthy weight) and maintain.
2 After weighing XXX pounds stop weighing myself.
3 Read Bible everyday BEFORE homework, exercising, and computer time.(I usually end up at the end of the day reading for about 1 minute before bed because I put it off all day.)
4 Pray at least 5x's a day.( I probably pray once or twice a day. I don't even give thanks for food anymore. Not good.)
5 Find 5 positive things each day about myself and repeat them out loud (suggestion from book).
6 Don't body check.
7 Don't not wear something because it shows curves..
8 Take 2 rest days from exercise a week.
9 Do only 2 days of cardio a week.
10 Study for only 5 hours a day. Stop after five hours (I study WAY TOO MUCH!)
11 Every time I feel ugly, fat, etc.......pray. (This one is going to help a lot...I know it.)
So these are my goals that are things that I need to change about myself. I have another list of more fun goals! I will post those next.(Please don't compare yourself to these goals. Everybody has different goals/standards. These are just mine.)
Now because I am pretty much a
go with the flow kind of person PERFECTIONIST, I would normally follow these goal religiously and beat myself up if I don't do something for just one day. I am not going to do that. These are things I want to strive for. As long as I make some effort......I am accomplishing something. A quote from the book above helped me to realize this. Micheal Addison Read said,
"Since every failure is a lesson, every challenge an opportunityy, and every joy a triumph, it's hard to go wrong."