Thursday, March 17, 2011


First of all..........................thank you all so very much for your amazingly kind, encouraging, and wonderful comments on my last post and all of my posts. I appreciate you all so much and am so thankful to have support out there.

So I am healed. Cured. Fixed. Eating working at full capacity. Yeah. You heard me. 

After that whole twinkie episode.......I was cured. I will forever be a twinkie lover (okay I actually am not the biggest fan of twinkies but since I ate that twinkie.....I have been a new girl!) I have been eating pure JUNK and I don't give a crap. Not one bit. In the last day I have (with some help) eaten an entire chocolate bar. I don't really know how it happened. It just did. And I don't care! No....I am not binging and all that....I am just desperately trying to gain weight so I can stop living in this ED world.

I AM SO STINKIN' SICK OF IT....ALL OF IT! I never want to weigh myself EVER again.....I never want to count calories EVER again......I never want to pinch my stomach EVER again.....I never want to exercise for 3 hours straight EVER again. I am done. That's it. Enough. I am through. It was a terrible ride....and I am finally able to get off. I will never ever catch a ride on the ED train again. 

So you may be asking why all of a sudden I am "cured". I can give you only ONE REASON. His name is Jesus. He has saved my life. I give ALL the credit to Him. I could have never ever made it through without Him. I could never be at the place I am in my life without Him.  HE is the one who has "cured" me. I desperately pray and hope that you all find the same relief. He is the only one that we can find TRUE happiness, peace, hope, love, grace, justice, and power in. LOOK NO FURTHER!

The Lord has really showed me how much I need to live my life to the fullest through all the disasters in Japan. Those people had NO warning that their was going to be an earthquake that would literally shift the world. Think about if you were in their shoes. If you died  tonight in a massive earthquake and a tsunami that carried you out into the middle of the ocean......where would you go? Will you simply cease to exist or is their something far greater and far worse out their that you are missing? Please think about it and ask yourself "what is going to happen to me"? 
I want to live my life like this. This is how Jesus lived His life on earth. He treated everyday as if it were His last day. He gave everything of Himself with the time that He had here on earth. Ultimately He gave up His very own life in order to give us life. If today was your last day...would you except Him into your life?


Anonymous said...

The lack of proper words is something normal for someone who's not a native speaker so forgive me if my comments sound all the same (or plain stupid). I will comment anyway because this post shows how far you have gone with recovery and how much you have achieved. Congratulations! Keep the good vibes flowing!

I remember that when my period returned I was eating a lot of food considered "junk", too. Maybe in the end it's not that junky :)

princesslila said...

This is so wonderful and inspiring to read! God really does do amazing things for us.
I'm really happy for you. And I don't think of "junk food" as bad. It's just food and it tastes good!

Lily said...

I'm so excited Deborah!! This is a HUGE step and very..well exciting!

"Junk Food" is still nutrients our body needs. Not that I would recommend eating it all day everyday...But it can taste pretty darn delicious!!

God is good. :)


willing_to_recover said...

OMG, I actually have tears on my eyes from readin your posts! it's so inspiring and I'm SO happy for you :) You go girl! Lets hope more of us can be in your shoes shortly! Love the song btw i always listen to this if I'm struggling. Such a shame that I've only just started following you :( Well done! Love your life without ED!!! YAY!!!