Hello! I just finished going through my bookmarks of blogs that I follow. And I did something that I have been resisting doing for a while. I went through and deleted several of them from my bookmarks. Why you ask......well.........several of them are really triggering for me. I have followed lots of health/running/exercise blogs and I think that lots of the people that I read have some problems with eating and and over exercising and don't realize it. When I read these blogs...I feel like I am being silly and that I don't really have an eating or over exercising problem and this is how everyone is. I look at the food they consume and the amount of calories they burn and automatically start comparing myself to them. This is MY ISSUE. Not their's. They can post and do whatever they want. But I need to step back and help myself. I basically just clicked through each one and if their entire home page did not trigger me at all I did not push delete. If I felt the twinge bit of ED telling me that I was a failure and needed to be more like these people...I clicked delete. I am going to miss those blogs. Maybe someday I can return to them! :D I would suggest doing this....it is really going to help I think! :D
Today I had an amazing time reading my Bible this morning. Like I didn't want to stop reading. I love it when I am so engrossed in God's Word. However, I stopped reading to do something. WORK OUT. Ugh. I am so ashamed of this. I stopped reading my Bible.....to work out some more. :( I have to stop doing this. I am such a slave. I really felt though that I was being good to myself because I was SUPER sore after yesterday. So I decided I was JUST going to do yoga. I ended up doing yoga, lifting weights, working my abs and legs, and riding the stationary bike. Its like I get sucked in and can't stop. Poo. And guess what? I did this all after I got inspired after reading in Ephesians about pretty much this thing.
Okay so, it is obvious that I am not practicing what I am preaching. So the following is more like me trying to pound these facts into my head. Go read Ephesians chapter 5 verses 1-20. They are pretty convicting for someone who is struggling with ED. Verse six is something I need to practice in my life. Not letting man deceive me with vain words. I use other people's judgments about weight and such and apply them to my life. I need to listen to God and what He wants for my body and life. Vs. 10 is awesome too. It basically talks about proving to yourself and those around you what is acceptable to our Father in heaven. Is working out for hours and depriving ourselves of the food God has provided acceptable to Him? NO its not D.E.B.O.R.A.H. (sorry for talking to myself) I just have to get this out! Anyways....I want to post more about this later....oh and I also want to post more about my last post....oh dear. This is confusing! :P I have so much to say!