So last night I was planning on eating some soup for dinner but then my mom told me that she had reheated some leftover spaghetti and meatballs. So I kind of felt like I needed to have that since she already had it ready. The thing is I really didn't want to eat that. And it made me realize something. I have to sike myself up for the food I am going to be eating. seriously. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I have to. I have to plan and know what I am going to be eating or else I get really upset. Like the other night when I had hot dogs (woo hoo I did it!) I had to sike myself up for it for a couple of hours. Once I knew that was what we were having for dinner I had to prepare myself mentally. Does anyone else have to do this? Anyways, I had to be flexible last night and it really bothered me. Then we left late for the movie which really bothered me too. In the car I just wanted to burst out sobbing....but I didn't want to spoil the night for the rest of the family so I just held it inside. Anyways, it felt good to just release this morning.
Yesterday and the day before I took Henry (my dog) for a walk! We were finally able to go since most of the snow ( i thought) had been shoveled of of peoples sidewalks. well....they weren't really shoveled so we had to trudge through but he loved it!
|Henry in the snow. Sorry its blurry!|
I want to go back to what I was talking in my post about Ephesians 5. In verse 11 it talks about not being associated with or spending our precious time with the "unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." I think this is something that we should all do. I once thought that it was crazy to out loud tell a sin to go away or to stop. But I really believe it works. I know I sound CRAZY. But seriously. Saying it outloud kind of pushes it out and brings it out in the open. When I first started my recovery, outloud I said "Go away anorexia. Go away vanity." The minute after this I felt such relief. Its like a burden was lifted. I then prayed that the Lord would fill my heart with something else. Something better. Since that day I have been stronger and had less of a burden. I did this after I watched this inspiring and helpful video (I think her focus is a little off at the end when she talks about being skinny after anorexia and all that but it is still helpful):
Anyways, I think this verse follows along with that. You don't have to yell out and cast out any sins or anything. But I do think that we need to recognize these sins and reprove (which means to to scold or correct) them. We need to discontinue obsessing about our appearances, control, etc (the thing that is an unfruitful work of darkness). Then we need to point out those flaws in our life and correct and reprove them! I hope this is helpful to some. I am not trying to be all judgmental and stuff. This is just something that I have needed to work on with myself. I hope it is helpful! Have a wonderful Saturday!